Ever feel like you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? That's because you are, says Psychiatrist and Researcher Dr. Wilfred Winky and author of the book "What The Heck Are You Talking About?," which sheds light on the communication problems plaguing couples today. Here is a sample of Winky's conclusions:
Translation of women's phrases:
We need. = I want.
It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious because I already explained it to you.
Do what you want. = You'll pay for this later.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.
I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you jackass.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
We have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
Translation of commonly used men's phrases:
I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired. = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
I love you. = Let's have sex now.
I'm bored. = Let's have sex now.
Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing you what a deep person I am so you will have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.